Im learning slowly that i need to live my life to the fullest. That i just need to stop worrying about what happened yesterday. I need to just keep moving on.. to either let go or to forgive. Life is to short to just be worrying about things that dont matter, that may have happened weeks ago. What truly matters is now. Yeah it may seem like the end of the world when things dont go the way you want them to, but there is always a new day. You might have a bad day, lose a guy, make the wrong decision, or simply just feel like everything is against you. but what you have to see is good days will come, people will continue to walk in and out of your life.. some will stay for good, you will continue to make good and bad decisions, but atleast you are still living your life. Just gotta be happy with what you have, make the best of it. Love the people in your life. its almost like you have to live each moment like your last. cause u never know what could happen an hour later..tomorrow.. weeks from now etc. Live like there is no tomorrow..
R.I.P. Grandpa Moore.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Gone in a second
So.. by writing these posts i feel like i can leave it here to stay, that the memories will be gone and it will eventually become a good memory of mine. Everytime life seems like its right on track it just completely falls apart. I realize i dont really know what i want to do with my life and im running out of time to figure out. Its like i feel so lost again. Then i went from high on life to just plain hating it. I hate the feeling of losing so many people at one time.Ive lost a good friend because i just couldnt go out state with her. if i would have i most likely would be feeling worse than do right now. i would have ended up become so stressed that i would have just broke down. i needed that time to breathe. it sucks losing her, but i dont know what i can do. i feel like i lost another friend too, that i will never have her part of my life in the same way again. the cycle only continues. then i lost this absolutely amazing guy who seemed so perfect for me, but yet again i was wrong. he is mostly why im writing this. i have to fully let him go. to have his story to read when i can look back and smile on it.
So it started as a friendship. I needed someone to help take my mind off other things. he was funny, weird, cute, everything that almost reminded me of myself. i loved how we just talked all day about random stuff nothing that was important. he used to tell me stories that made me laugh. he was just different. we continued talking which eventually turned into more because we both started to like eachother. but what was so great about him is he made me feel on top of the world and so confident in myself. he wasnt like all the other guys. he would tell me i was beautiful and tell me i was perfect just how i was. he told me these such sweet things in so many different ways that it just started to become believable. he had almost all the qualities i wished for. he was perfect. we got along so well and everything just seemed great like nothing was going to get in the way and that we were gonna make it a long way. one of my most favorite things about him was how he would call me and play his guitar for me and sing to me. i would just lay there listening and smile the whole time. then we finally started hanging out and it got even better. i loved the way he would hold me thru the night as we fell asleep, then waking up to look into his beautiful blue eyes and he would kiss me on my forehead. I felt so comfortable with him and i felt so complete. like he was suppose to be part of my life. we continue our relationship together for a couple months, with the sweet text and all the cute things couples do. it almost felt new to me because i had never had anyone so focused on me before, it felt like i was all that mattered. but things like this that seem like a dream dont always last forever. i still dont understand what happened, i try not to think about it in the worst possible way, but i think thats what the result was. it happened so drastically and i had to wake up to reality that he just didnt care for me at all. that most likely all those things he said to me were lies. he built himself up to be someone i thought was genuine. maybe he was.. maybe he did like me, i just will never know. its hard to not to try to talk to him cause i feel like something could have been done. i dont know though maybe i just wasnt good enough. i deserved alittle more then what happened and it hurts me to sit here and realize hes not going to be talking to me again. that all those goodmorning text to start our day is gone.. i am really going to miss him. he really did mean alot to me. and he was a really great guy. and i only hope for the best for him because he made me realize there are guys out there that can make u almost feel like u were in a fairytale. i may sound crazy, but he really was incredible and im glad that i had him in my life for that short period of time because he opened my eyes to how things could be. but all there is left to do is move on. to let go of the pain that pulls at me to change it. that there is so much more to life. that we simply cant dwell on the past all we simply can do is move forward, and nothing is going to stop so u just have to keep up. u never know what may happen down the road. all the possibilities and what happens next it just might surprise u.
So it started as a friendship. I needed someone to help take my mind off other things. he was funny, weird, cute, everything that almost reminded me of myself. i loved how we just talked all day about random stuff nothing that was important. he used to tell me stories that made me laugh. he was just different. we continued talking which eventually turned into more because we both started to like eachother. but what was so great about him is he made me feel on top of the world and so confident in myself. he wasnt like all the other guys. he would tell me i was beautiful and tell me i was perfect just how i was. he told me these such sweet things in so many different ways that it just started to become believable. he had almost all the qualities i wished for. he was perfect. we got along so well and everything just seemed great like nothing was going to get in the way and that we were gonna make it a long way. one of my most favorite things about him was how he would call me and play his guitar for me and sing to me. i would just lay there listening and smile the whole time. then we finally started hanging out and it got even better. i loved the way he would hold me thru the night as we fell asleep, then waking up to look into his beautiful blue eyes and he would kiss me on my forehead. I felt so comfortable with him and i felt so complete. like he was suppose to be part of my life. we continue our relationship together for a couple months, with the sweet text and all the cute things couples do. it almost felt new to me because i had never had anyone so focused on me before, it felt like i was all that mattered. but things like this that seem like a dream dont always last forever. i still dont understand what happened, i try not to think about it in the worst possible way, but i think thats what the result was. it happened so drastically and i had to wake up to reality that he just didnt care for me at all. that most likely all those things he said to me were lies. he built himself up to be someone i thought was genuine. maybe he was.. maybe he did like me, i just will never know. its hard to not to try to talk to him cause i feel like something could have been done. i dont know though maybe i just wasnt good enough. i deserved alittle more then what happened and it hurts me to sit here and realize hes not going to be talking to me again. that all those goodmorning text to start our day is gone.. i am really going to miss him. he really did mean alot to me. and he was a really great guy. and i only hope for the best for him because he made me realize there are guys out there that can make u almost feel like u were in a fairytale. i may sound crazy, but he really was incredible and im glad that i had him in my life for that short period of time because he opened my eyes to how things could be. but all there is left to do is move on. to let go of the pain that pulls at me to change it. that there is so much more to life. that we simply cant dwell on the past all we simply can do is move forward, and nothing is going to stop so u just have to keep up. u never know what may happen down the road. all the possibilities and what happens next it just might surprise u.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
feelin weird
So why do people always have to pop back up outta no where.. like i know its always gonna happen.. people just come out of no where all the time. the reason they do? i still dont understand.. some i understand why, but that one im really tryin to figure out.. like im kinda creeped out by it.. like what was going through his head to decide that he needed to say a thing to me.. and what he said was just so weird and i dont know its really bothering me right now.. maybe he just really is weird! cause i can remember the time when he told me his really weird beliefs back when i went on vaca with him, it kinda scared me... but anyways why would i need closure after sooo long.. i think i have pretty much forgot you and am very much moved on from you.. and had no intentions of talking to you again.. i should have never responded cause that was just flat out weird.. i hope you have a nice life...
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